Fair is foul and foul is fair. Saturday, Aug 30 2008

It’s twenty past twelve and my mind is doing backflips.

I always thought that every human being in the world felt the same emotions, had the same idea of things and acted in the best way possible to express themselves adequatly to keep others just as happy as them. As I slowly and steadily progress through the obsticle filled road that we call life, I’ve discovered that this is not the case, in fact; it is the very opposite.

The trouble with situations is that they never seem to play to our wishes, they cannot be easily avoided, and any kind of confrontation, not matter how insignificant seems to provoke and antagonize the flames that are anger and bitterness.

This world can be cruel, people can be cruel, and no thought pattern is the same. Readers, I come to the overall and justifyable conclusion that no matter who you are, you are selfish. I respect that sometimes it is necessary for our own happiness, but in most cases, you are selfish because of the power you hold over others.

This is the truth, something which I’ve seen in everyone, and something which will not falter or decrease as the world turns and each day passes.

This is life, I need to get used to it.

Leave a Response »

 

Allow me to be frank with the commencement. Saturday, Aug 16 2008

 

It’s been a considerable amount of time since I’ve written on here, and certainly have a few points to make. Firstly and disappointingly, I managed to get a few poor exam results which have resulted in me being denied from second year at college. This could all change with one signature, but the feeling of academic rejection does not prove motivational for my second year.

 

History, fantastic, A. This was unexpected and a great shock when I discovered my least best subject had somehow become my main breakthrough one. English, a C. Very annoyed with this seeing as it’s the subject which holds my passion and dedication. Law, U, this is the subject which I stopped trying in when I realised what a pathetically idiotic teacher I had. Finally, Philosophy, E. Terrible. The one subject which brought my collapse into second year. However, I would not have been so angry if it was my lack of studying and utter neglect which caused this atrocious result, but it seems that most of my set got equally poor results.

 

This is to where my complaint comes in. A level exams. What a complete farce of educational value. All it proves is how to answer an exam paper which amounts to you writing about 4% of the knowledge that is stored in your mind around that subject. It neither tests your intellectual level, or your ability, it merely tests that you can answer ‘in correct formation’ a trivial question which must be answered in exactly the correct ‘exam board approved oh the piece of paper told me this is the only way it should be written’ way.

Fellow A level students, I think you’ll agree, exam results are merely a test of an exam board flitting about silly little questions, and not testing what you really know and how passionate you are about it.

 

 

Rant over, good day to you all.

Leave a Response »

 

the stalagmites of culture shock Monday, May 26 2008

It seems to have been a few days since my last post, so I think it’s only a reasonable time at just past one in the morning to begin writing a third post. These last few days have seen significant amount of changes. I’m not quite sure how to take it.

Those close to me may understand this, but in one particular half of the human race, it’s going to take a little time before I can restore my faith, and waiting around for this is like balancing on the edge into the unknown. The philosophy exam I completed wasn’t all that wonderful either, and i’m hoping that I didn’t make that one large mistake I apprehensively fear I have made.

after writing these few paragraphs, i think it’s unlikely I can write anymore due to the increasing energy drainage and half of my face is droopy/hurts ( which is a story I will tell at another time in order to give it a sufficient amount of justice.

Oh, and every late night stint should involve listening to Peter Gabriel with a flute.

mmm.

2 Responses »

 

The fool escaped Wednesday, May 21 2008

Wow, two blog posts in one day, probably not unheard of, but any sensible person would more than likely have concluded their day within one post. However, I am the exception.

Worries. To proceed doggedly in the face of difficulty or hardship may be a fitting chore for a teenager, it wouldn’t pass to have a little slack within the little freedom we have before the monstrous inevitability of life controls our actions.

For example, exams. Yes, don’t contradict, we all have to do them to get anywhere in life, I know, I know. Plenty of students around my age resort to their little teenage tantrums to try and outsmart or embarass the exam boards. Well, I’m more concerned with the communication between exam boards. The fact on Friday I have to complete five hours worth of exams is enough, but compared to my friend Adam whom has to complete three gruelling exams in the space of a few hours is preposterous. These exams are dictating his future, and one exam is a mental test enough, let alone three. Good luck with those Adam

 

May I just add, what the hell is general studies? Please, someone give me a decent explanation as to why i care whether problems occur entirely through my family, or my opinion on the decreasing quality of television. Me and a few of my friends decided to add some comedy to the desperately long hours which we had to endure, including dairy products within our answers. I managed three, and considering it was a little abstract, I was rather proud.

Onwards to Philosophy. But where to begin?

I do believe this will explain why it’s so abstract.

One Response »

 

The sun comprehending glass Wednesday, May 21 2008

So after completing my AS level English Literature paper, I can’t help feel a slight case of resentment. Yes, I managed to get through the isolation of Spies and the deception and betrayal of Tis’ Pity She’s A Whore, but it’s Philip Larkin who’s really got me screaming.

On the day of the explosion
Shadows pointed towards the pithead
in the sun, the slagheap slept

Down the lane came men in pitboots
Coughing oath edged talk and pipe smoke
Shouldering off the freshened silence.

One chased after rabbits; lost them;
Came back with a next of lark’s eggs;
Showed them; lodged them in the grasses.

So they passed in beards and moleskins,
Father’s, brothers, nicknames, laughter
Through the tall gates standing open.

At noon, there came a tremor; cows
Stopped chewing for a second; sun,
Scarfed as in a heat-haze, dimmed.

the dead go on before us, they
are sitting in God’s house in comfort,
We shall see them face to face –

Plain as lettering in the chapels
It was said, and for a second
Wives saw men of the explosion

Larger than in life they managed -
Gold as on a coin, or walking
Somehow from the sun towards them,

One showing the eggs unbroken.

Philip Larkin. High Windows 1974

The truth is, it’s not because I know too little about him, it’s because I know too much. The question that was asked involved the poem “The Explosion”. Ulitmately, I find this poem a beautifully constructed tragedy, one which portrays the delicacy and sensitivity in Larkin unlike his ‘things fuck you up’ style. Sitting there I couldn’t quite adequately put pen to paper about how I felt about it. Not only did I think it was the pinnacle ending to the collection, but it was the centre of Larkin’s tranquility, putting all his desolate fears of isolation and mortality into a harmonious context, finally setting Larkin’s mind at peace.

Talking to others, it seems as if I may have loved Larkin’s final poem a little too much, as I didn’t do the most vital thing in the exam and construct a reasonable for and against arguement. How silly of me.

Still, results day will tell all.

One Response »